Transcending Labels: How Embracing My Non-Binary Identity Changed My Life

Before my awakening, I was unhappy and almost always in conflict with life. I grew up in a very stifling and religious environment. But I was always different. Even as a kid, I was the odd one, and everyone knew it.

I was brilliant in arts so I went into law because that’s what was expected of me. However, 2020 happened, and as with everyone, the lockdown was a wake-up call for me. I realized Law wasn’t the path for me and began fully pursuing my art after the lockdown. 

My journey to this point wasn’t exactly linear. For a long time, even after I quit school, I still identified as a lawyer, not an artist, but when it dawned on me, I let it all go. I left it all, and that was how I rediscovered myself. 

My Awakening

Choosing my path as an artist meant letting go of every inhibition and expectation that anybody had of me — being a lawyer, a wife, a Christian. I let go of the fear of what people would think of me. And to tell you the truth, nothing beats living life free of expectations. 

I saw myself clearer. I discovered myself outside of the hustle mentality. I discovered life, love and freedom. This view of life helped me become more aware of myself. 

I feel everything. 

    “Feelings are like signals and compasses.”

Feelings deserve to be cultivated. They are there for a reason and I don't demonise them. I honour them. 

Your feelings can help you carve your path for each day. They are like signals and compasses; they tell us where to go or where we shouldn't. Water them with the right things, pay attention to them and allow them to express themselves.

If you’re angry, it's for a reason. Rather than externalizing it, reroute it to your insides and try to decipher it. Ask yourself, “Why am I angry? “Why am I scared?”

We wake up feeling different each day and we need to tap into that. Don’t let anyone put you in a box; you are multidimensional when you let yourself be. Everything has seasons, including us, and we must give in to them if we’re going to become fully formed. Of course, structure is needed so it doesn't get overwhelming, but at the heart of it, you aren't born to be restricted to one thing.

This is reflected in my art. When people ask me what my favourite style or genre is, I tell them I don't have any. My music is a blend of different sounds, and that is all that matters. I don't have favourites; why love one when I could love all? Why be one thing when I could be everything?

All of life is multidimensional. If you feel otherwise, it’s because society categorizes us. When we’re born, society tells us who we are, what we should be, and what we can’t be. This boxes our knowledge of ourselves. 

Most people have a blend of both energies but society has taught them to repress the side that doesn’t match their assigned sex at birth. A child with no knowledge of life would accept this as all they can be but it’s impossible to be fully masc or femme. Expecting people to be binary is insane. 

“People shouldn't be judged based on their genitals; they should be judged based on their capacity. “

People get stuck on one idea of who they are, but we should be allowed to express ourselves in whatever feels right to us in that season. Allow your energies to flow as the seasons flow; you can't box yourself into one idea of how you are or how to show up. You have to show up to life as it flows to survive.

Boxing yourself is the worst thing you can do to yourself when you have so many layers of identity. You have the right to morph as you wish and be fluid with your person.

Being in this space has taught me that it's okay to evolve. I am not the person I was two years ago; I'm not the person I will be in the future, and that’s okay. Allowing yourself to morph with time is the best gift you could give anyone. 

About the Author

Beatrice Mobolade Arogundade (Bee) is a non-binary creator born and raised in Lagos, Nigeria. Bee is the acronym of their two names and a symbol of their life’s expression, which is to just be. They are a self-taught multi-creative who has been practising in the art world for four years.

Their passion for witnessing people embody their full selves inspired them to create Parapo, a community of people looking to share resources. It’s a safe space to simply BE and explore what life is like when we have all we need.  It’s a growing, intentional community open to everyone who wants to take action to have a better life experience.

Parapo offers bi-monthly gatherings for people to connect through wellness, creative expression, music, movement, and fun. If you want to do better, live better, and be better, let us do it together. Parapo is where your dreams become actions that lead to reality. Check Parapo out.